The Divorce Process – From finding a Divorce Lawyer to Preparing for your first meeting.

I don’t know of anyone who got married thinking it would end in divorce.  Divorce is a very stressful and difficult situation to go through, but there are ways to make it just a little less stressful.  This 3-part guide will help prepare you for what lies ahead in the divorce process.

You’ve decided it’s time to get a divorce… now what?

Many people say, “making the decision to get a divorce is the hardest part of divorcing your spouse,” however, typically those who say this have never been through a messy divorce.  While some couples manage to keep things civil during the divorce process, many have those drawn out, knock out battles.  Following the steps outlined below can help minimize the stress of divorce.

Step 1: Prior to finding a Divorce Lawyer

The first thing you need to do once you decide to get a divorce is “take inventory” of your life.  Write down a very detailed list of your possessions; include a list of bank accounts, investments, property, jewelry, artwork, collections, furniture, etc.  You also need to write down a list of your debts such as mortgages, credit cards, car loans, etc.  You need a solid picture of what your life looks like financially.

Why write things down?  Writing things down helps to visualize / verbalize your thoughts putting you in the proper mindset that you will need to move forward.  Your goal is to make rational and non-emotional decisions throughout the divorce process.  While that is very difficult to do, getting half way there will save you plenty of heartache.

For those who have children:  Write down a list of what you want for your children.  How much money will you need to provide for them without changing their current lifestyle?  Where will they live?  What schools do you want them to attend?  All of these questions need to be answered and should be added to your list.  BE REASONABLE.  If abuse isn’t involved in the relationship then set proper expectations for the splitting of time between parents.  The BEST way to have a smooth divorce that involves children is to evenly split your time as best as possible.

Once your pre-divorce list is complete you need to figure out how much money you will need as a single adult with or without kids.  Make a list of your potential expenses.  This list should include all housing expenses, education expense, auto expenses, and entertainment expenses.  Once you have a list of your total monthly expenses you have an accurate picture of the income you will need once divorced.  If you currently have a job, is your salary enough to cover your expenses?  If not, will there be sufficient spousal support to cover the difference?  Answering the last question is often where a divorce lawyer comes into play. 

So let’s look at the next step, How To Find a Divorce Lawyer.